problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
