Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
