I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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