tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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