I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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