he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
