I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
my poor anus
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
