when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
