I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
