Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
