I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
im holly from the hills drunk
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
