I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
