It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
3pm strippers are depressing
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
