May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
