so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
