I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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