So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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