TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
