Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I can't put those talents on a resume
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
