I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
