I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
