And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
