Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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