you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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