Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
