my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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