I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
