Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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