that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
