ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
