break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
