sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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