I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
