he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
