Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
