So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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