You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
