I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
