I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize