Non-Jews are for practice
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
