I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
