Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
this boner is exhausting
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
