i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
