You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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