and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
