Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize