we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
