we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
cat food counts as protein by the way
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The feeling are messing with the penis
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
