I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize