I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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