Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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