My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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