there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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