i need an iv and a liver transplant
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
