It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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