I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
