Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
