i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize