just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
