That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
