i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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