Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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