he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
