so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
