"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize