Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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