It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
