I think scott just propositioned me for sex
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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