There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
