my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
