have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
