i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
