Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
