I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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