the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize