we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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