the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i came on her dog
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
