New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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