You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
